Notice warning light on dash.
Stop car, get out and walk around the front.
Mmmmm
Go to local Halfords and check their computer thing for correct bulb
Mmmmm
Ask butch mechanic looking blokes at counter for help
Blank looks
Pretty blond girl gets bulb
Butch mechanic offers to fit bulb for £10
Bugger that.
Drive home, get out and walk around the front.
Mmmmm
Go in cupboard and find owners manual
Turn to page 204
Mmmmm, again
Go downstairs, get in car, turn on and turn steering fully to one side as instructed
Try and crouch between 500L and coupe, to have a look.
Can't get down low enough.
Try and get up without leaving sweaty hand print on coupe.
Go in garage, find garden kneeling pad thing and little stool.
Place stool between cars and sit down
Can't bend down low enough to see.
Move stool, put pad between cars, try and get down again.
Move peak of cap so that I can see.
Look over top of glasses so that I can focus.
Too dark to see inside wheel arch.
Crawl forwards on hands and knees, to garage wall and climb up.
Go in garage and look for torch.
Find torch and pray that Grandson hasn't used up the batteries.
He's hasn't !
Get back between cars, kneel down, push cap up, look over top of specs and shine torch into wheel arch.
Mmmmm
Two little hatch things.
Nearest one has two Philips screws close to the outside. Not this one.
Other is above the tyre, two screws were Philips, now rounded holes.
Crawl forwards, etc.
Go in garage, find good selection of Philips screwdrivers
Get down between cars.
Three screwdrivers are too long to access the screws because of the tyre.
Stubby screwdriver rotates in screwhead.
Two other screwdrivers slip out of screwhead when angled across the tyre.
Crawl forwards, climb up garage wall. Walk around for a few minutes to get rid of cramp.
Go in garage, find socket set.
Search through 6 sizes to find one that will fit slotted head thing that might fit hole
Get down between cars.
Cap, specs, torch.
Slotted thing rotates in hole.
Try and stand up, feel a little faint, wobble and put dirty hand on coupe.
Go in garage, get water spray, degreaser spray and cloths.
Carefully clean coupe
Kick little stool, pad and screwdrivers into the garage.
Slam garage door and go back into the house.
Executive decision.
Seven months until MOT. It'll wait.

Hilarious

Paul if its anything like the Abarth 500 turn the steering full lock, jack car up, remove light access panel in wheel arch and then drop the bulb inside the lamp

Thanks for the advice !
Where were you when I needed you

Why do the designers always start with the light bulb and then build everything around it so you can't get near them? Light bulbs are probably the thing you replace most frequently. I had a Rover which sounds similar to this, the dip was always going, the Berra was a nightmare probably easier if you take the engine out, Halfords apparently have a 'black book' which tells them not to touch some cars, they wouldn't do my daughter's Hyundai, Kwik fit took the whole bumper off.

Well at least the coupe has easy-to-change bulbs, even if the first thought is 'hey, where did the headlights go?'