Just a rant about two things.
Indifferent 'advice' for other people's problemsPeople who just tell others to 'toughen up' or 'move on' in response to significant problems in life without even wanting to listen to their experiences, are usually not people who have had to 'toughen up' or 'move on' from any significant problems themselves. And by significant problems I don't mean things like not having your bins collected on time or Cadbury Crème Eggs not tasting as nice as they used to, but life-affecting situations.
If I was diagnosed with cancer and I went to a cancer survivor to share my worries with them, I doubt very much they would tell me to just 'toughen up' and 'move on' without at least first listening to what I've got to say and discussing things with me, because ultimately they'll know what it feels like. Their experience of the illness has given them empathy.
But the people I'm talking about, well, they've never been through similarly tough times themselves. Everything has been relatively easy for them and because of that they seem to have this unfounded smug and arrogant confidence, which to be honest, would quickly disappear if things even less severe in nature were to happen to them - never mind things of the same severity!
It would be like them seeing someone screaming loudly in pain as they are attacked by a swarm of bees, telling them to 'toughen up' and then fainting themselves when they see one of the bees fly towards them.
But I suppose being subjected to such an attitude is useful, as it represents the attitude of the world as a whole. Because after all, the world is not going to stop spinning no matter how bad your problems are and you will have to ultimately 'get on with it.'
But it does certainly make you appreciate those people who have the ability to empathise!
Caring about what others think of youMy life has been determined by this for as long as I can remember and it has led to depression essentially due to a life not freely lived.
Anyway, I had an epiphany today.
Say you have someone who always puts in loads of effort into looking stylish in front of everyone. They really look forward to being complimented on their appearance and they get upset by criticisms. And they are doing a nationally televised parachute jump. Now say they have never told anyone that they used to actually be really nerdy looking in the past. Before they jump out of the plane, they learn that the parachute has a photo on there of them from their nerdy days and that the whole nation will see it if they open the parachute. And then they get pushed out of the plane. I'm 99.9% certain that they would ultimately end up opening the parachute because they value their life more than the opinions of others.
So the question is, if they don't allow the opinions of others to affect them in a life and death situation, why do they allow the opinions of others to affect them in normal everyday life where it's nowhere near a matter of life and death?